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We at Animetion UK aren’t God but it cannot be denied that anime
seems to follow certain rules that someone must have laid down at some point. These are not our preachings
but are evident by viewing anime. Enjoy!
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1. Thou shalt only move if lines are behind thee
Surely the first stone tablet must have said that unless random coloured lines
that bare no resemblance to the background at all appear behind every character
when they move - and make them appear to be moving at 70mph – then your anime is
going straight to hell. Speed-lines have become more sophisticated and the
animators do not tend to use the same speed-lines backgrounds over and over, the
lines also now tend to blend better with their surroundings. But the fact
remains they must be in all anime no matter what.
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2. Thou shalt have a face that defies all convention
Have you ever seen anyone with eyes the size of frying pans and a mouth the size
of ant? Unless you’ve been doing experiments you shouldn’t have, then it’s
unlikely. But the second tablet states that this is how all anime characters
must look, no exception. Those who deviate from this rule cannot imply the other
commandments as easily. If you are wondering how someone came up with this style
of human representation, then look at early American animation from the 20’s &
30’s. This is the style that originally inspired anime artists, who eventually
evolved the style into their own.
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3. Thou shalt look hard when there is a breeze
The only time wind will blow in anime when someone is trying to look hard. How
they manage to do it every time the wind happens to blowing is something other
characters never question because they know that wind means business. Emotions
of the characters caught up in the wind can be measured by the Beaufort scale: a
breeze will mean uncertainty in a stand-off, a medium wind that only effects the
character’s cape will mean they are plotting something and a force ten gale that
effects all their surroundings (but not them) will mean sheer determination. If
they are stood on a cliff and the camera is panning around them as well, then
you know someone is in trouble.
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4. Thou shalt make reference to sex
Whether it is the demon fantasies of Go Nagai, the light-hearted romance of
Sailor Moon or the pervy old bloke, all anime contains a sexual reference of
some sort no matter how small. Obsession with schoolgirl uniforms, impossible
nosebleeds and gender bending are all examples of sex in anime. The sexual
tension of such mainstream shows as Neon Genesis Evangelion and Brock’s attempts
at getting girls in Pokémon serve as less obvious examples. Homoeroticism is
also common in many anime in shows such as Trigun and Dragonball Z. One thing
all of the anime mentioned here have in common is that they are far from being
sexual reference free and there are very few anime that are.
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5. Thou shalt settle differences only through fighting
If there isn’t a fight in an anime, Satan has interfered somehow. Anime aimed at
all ages have fights in them at some point and very often it is just between a
small group of individuals, not large armies. All kinds of emotions will be
represented by moves used in the fights, fireballs often representing sheer
frustration. Despite this display of violence many anime usually result in a
good ending or a strong message that violence is very very wrong, but is highly
entertaining nevertheless.
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6. Thou shalt sweat when not hot
Did someone turn the heating up? Nope, it’s just someone who can’t express their
true feelings. Although this emotion is often just represented by a small drop
of sweat running down the character’s forehead, sweating has gone further with
gigantic drops on people’s hair portraying failure and even people attacking
others with the almighty sweat drop. Sweating is legendary in anime but it is
not quite certain why this is essential in anime as in real life it is doubtful
you would stay near someone who sweated so profusely.
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7. Thou shalt contain huge robots
Having mechs the size of the Tower Of Babel isn’t true of all anime but it has
become such a symbol of anime culture, they couldn’t have possibly not been on
one of the stone tablets. Whether they are piloted weapons or fighting of their
accord, mechs always make their presence known and will continue to do so in the
future. If mechs aren’t present in an anime then it is likely that a huge
Godzilla-like creature, cyborg or a human who needs help from machine will fill
in for them keeping the size/technology in order. Recent shows like Dai-Guard
have also proved that mech shows can be funny and don’t always have to be
piloted by school kids.
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8. Thou shalt have a theme tune
An anime without a theme tune is nothing. A well-thought out theme tune can be
pivotal to an anime’s success as the best are often catchy, quirky but never too
off-the-wall. It is hard to think of an anime that doesn’t have a theme
preceding it and it is hard to forget the themes of those that do. Themes to
Love Hina and Sakura Wars are examples of many that will not be forgotten. No
anime director seems to have the idea of not having a theme tune yet, maybe they
will be lynched if they did.
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9. Thou shalt shamelessly promote thy show with cheap merchandise
Merchandise for a show is often important to recuperate the show’s budget, but
don’t DVD and soundtrack sales generate enough? What’s with the sweets, cereals,
pens, capsule toys, toasters and bad figure range? For serious anime such as
Akira, Serial Experiments Lain and of course Neon Genesis Evangelion to have
merchandise such as fluffy chibi dolls and lunchboxes there must be a higher
power saying ‘you must sell out…you MUST sell out!’.
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10. Thou shalt confuse thy viewer
An anime just isn’t the same unless you can’t work out what the hell is going
on. The final commandment doesn’t just apply to strange sci-fi either, it
applies to all genres. You must having been watching Pokémon at least once and
thought ‘why don’t they ever go to school?’ or ‘why has Ghastly just turned
into a fire extinguisher?’. In many comedy anime objects will appear from
nowhere to hit a character and in sci-fi the meaning of life will be questioned,
answered and then asked again. Most anime will also end without any real goals
being achieved. True, this is more a commandment of Japanese story-telling
rather then anime, but the plot of anime is what wins the acclaim at the end of
the day.
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So there you have it. Historians have recently discovered that when Moses
delivered the commandments he first got out of an Eva in a strong wind, wiped
the sweat from his brow, asked everyone to stop singing his tune and then
delivered the commandments with speed-lines behind him. Afterwards he fought
anyone who disagreed with him and blood shot from his nose when the local women
asked him out. He now has a stall at the bottom of Mount Sinai selling
miniatures of the stone tablets and Chibi figures of Jesus.
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